The Yes, No- NO rule.

You may have heard of it, something similar to it, you my not have, you may be practicing it or you may not. This post is for those of you who don’t know about it and may want to bring it in to your marriage, or a refresher for those who have heard of it. It is certainly a rule we have in our marriage, even before we knew about it.

The rule is simple, If one spouse is okay with something but the other is not, then it’s a NO go. 

…when it concerns both of you and I imagine most everything will. Of course smaller things don’t fall into this category: such as where to eat for dinner. Comprises come into play with those sort of things. But when it comes to major choices, this is a great rule of thumb. One I am mostly reading about people experiencing is during baby names. If one person hates the baby name, then the name is no longer on the table.

It’s important to be on the same page when it comes to large decisions. It important for each person to be comfortable with what is happening in their life. It also eliminates one spouse always getting their way with things. It’s vital for each spouse to feel in control of their life and feel that they are equally important in life decisions. Without this comfort, this equality one spouse may feel “lesser” with can lead to resentment later on down the road. Especially when they look back on certain parts of their life and see all their choices were made for them. They may begin to keep their opinions, their feelings, and their problems to themselves which snow ball into bigger issues- because they feel that they don’t have a voice. Small things often turn into big things if they are pent up.

I can preach all day on how communication is VITAL in every marriage. With squished communication- the relationship can suffer.

If you struggle with this role, do the good ol’ fashion trick of putting yourself in their shoes. It really does work wonders. Pick something that would make you uneasy in your marriage, in your life, in your parenting role, and imagine it being pushed on to you.

Compromises are great, but sometimes things are too important to just come down to a compromise. Most importantly, do whatever works for your marriage and helps it the most. Your marriage is your love story, your spouse is your life long partner. if yo utake anyone seriously, it should always be your spouse.

How to relax

How to relax, doesn’t sound like something you would need to read about, but in all actuality the average human has a hard time getting into a relaxed state. I am one of those people, I have always been a high stressed, highly anxious person. Tense is my name and worrying is my game. I realized how much I sucked at relaxing after getting a massage when I started getting horrible neck pain. The massage took me to a state that I had no idea my body could get to. I wasn’t tense and I felt at ease. I then realized as time went on that while resting in bed, I had to force my body to feel relaxed and it took a lot of concentration. It couldn’t be normal to be that tense, there was no way it’s healthy to walk around all day, even laying in bed, with a tensed up body. To my surprise though, it’s an issue a lot of people deal with- and most of them like me had no idea. So I began to think of ways to truly relax and began trying them out. Check out these tips and try them for yourself, see if you notice any changes in your body- for the better!

1.) YOGA- My #1 go to. Nothing relaxes me quite like Yoga does. I could do it every hour on the hour if I had my way. The good thing about Yoga is that you don’t already have to be in some sort of excellent shape. Anyone can do yoga, no matter how much you weigh, no matter how flexible you are, no matter how many times a week you work out. There is a level for every person and yoga is very customizable. There are ways to modify each pose to fit your level and needs and you can go as slow as you’d like. I sat out the last 10 weeks of my pregnancy and my body started to get stiff, my blood pressure was rising because of how sensitive my hormones have made me, and I wasn’t sleeping well anymore. And of course, my neck pain was back. Now when I get stressed, I kind of crave yoga in a way. And as soon as I finish my routine, I feel 99% less stressed that I was when I started out. You can look up poses online and find out what works for you OR you can look up routines online. I have really come to love Yoga with AdrieneI suggest trying her 30 day’s of Yoga. I am going to try and find some more of her workouts that are pregnancy friendly for me! 🙂

2.) Music: Sometimes switching it on in the back ground can do the trick but try really focusing on it, “getting lost in it.” Did you know listening to music releases Dopamine? The feel good chemical. Turn on your favorite music or some nice soothing sounds, you can google soothing sounds on Youtube and get a great selection. This is probably my husband’s favorite way to relax. He pops on his headphones and lays in the dark forever just listening and relaxing. I like to walk around when I listen to music, so do whatever makes you comfortable when listening to music and get into it.

3.) Watching TV: Funny how I went from Yoga to watching TV but getting lost in your favorite TV show distracts you from your everyday stressors, which is good even if it’s for a bit. While you should probably learn to deal with your stressors head on- it does help to get away from it all for a bit. If TV isn’t your thing try a good book! 🙂

4.) Treat yourself: To a massage, to a coffee, milkshake, a little day trip. Do what won’t stress you out financially later but they don’t call them pick me up’s without reason. Sometimes introducing a small amount of happiness can make an ever bigger difference. Especially getting all the little stress knots out of your body with a massage (yes, they are a real thing). I get them easily and wish I could get a massage weekly.

5.) Focus on the moment: Enjoy the moment instead of looking forward for a change, don’t think about tomorrow, think of the small win you are having in the moment. This morning I woke up dreading my husband having to go to work for 10 hours, then I took a breath and cuddled up next to him telling myself to focus on the joy that I am getting from him being there in that moment. Why should we always allow the future to distract us from our present?

These are small things and some of them may work for you and you may struggle with others. The point is to be aware of your body and the state it’s in and the drive to change it if it’s not where you want it to be. We live in a high paced, high stressed society that relaxation is taken from us most of the time without notice, we can go on being tense for years and then one day realize the impact it has had on your health and our bodies. Take charge of your relaxation and make a change! You’ll thank yourself later! 🙂

Easiest Budget Plan in the world

So, I am apparently known for my budgeting. I have to admit, I don’t just have a budget for my own money gain or to keep track of my finances, I do it to keep me sane and focused on my goals- which is currently to purchase a house in September. It was July, but…I have to be honest, we didn’t stick to our budget like we should have. If we would have, we would probably be looking at houses next month. So if you are reading this, take it from me- stick to your budget! Whatever reason you are keeping a budget, make sure you stick to it and make it realistic.

Realistic being the most important part of a budget. When you go down the unrealistic path, you are very likely to blow your budget and thus, being let down. When I first began budgeting I pretty much made a dream budget using my husband’s highest pay (instead of his base pay) and underestimating my grocery store spending, which blew my budget out of the water and I found myself getting more and more stressed over finances, which, the point of a budget- is meant to help you avoid. It may take you a few months to get everything sorted out and on track, but you will get there.

A budget is also created to help you stay on track though, so while it is important to be realistic, you may need to make adjustments in some of your spending. If you are blowing your budget by $40 each week, don’t tell yourself “Well, i’m being realistic. This is how much I spend on eating out each week.” When this happens, it’s time to make cuts and realize where you are over spending. Budget’s require patience, honesty (harder than you think), and sometimes when you are going over budget and wondering where in the world all your money is going- sacrifices. But it’s all in the name of financial stability. Financial stability is something very important in this world. Not only does everything demand payment, but think of how often you’re stressed…now think of how often it’s tied to money. I don’t know about you but with us, pretty much all of our stress comes from money. Which is why I began budgeting. Winging finances just wasn’t working for us.

Budget’s take away many financial confusions. It shows you what comes in and it makes you realize where you may be spending a little too much money. When you blindly spend money it’s so easy to over spend, you can forget oh the water bill is due this week and instead go out with friends and when it comes time for the water bill to be due and you remember, you realize you spent your last $30 on dinner and drinks. Having a budget and knowing what money needs to go out before you get paid, prevents surprises like this. It also helps you build savings, even if it’s just a little. Which can help you later on when something happens that doesn’t fit in your budget- like a car repair. So let’s take a look at this super simple laid out budget plan, that will work for all of you!

So first off, here is the simple lay out. Here you only see 3 weeks, but the whole budget plan will stretch from 4- 5 weeks depending on the month.

Budget lay out

Nothing fancy, just plain and laid out for ease!

As you see here, in the left column you have three things to fill out. Pay, Bills, and Savings.

highlighted left column

Fill them out like this (it’s pretty self explanatory):

Pay: What you bring home weekly. If you get paid bi-weekly feel free to divide your check in half and put it in week 1. If your checks differ drastically each week, use your best, best, best, guess. Don’t include overtime or any incentive. Stick with your most base pay incase overtime isn’t available or you don’t make incentive. This is where being honest comes in to play, as much as you would love to count on overtime to make your budget prettier- don’t do it.

Bills: After you fill out your bills, add up the total and put it here.

Savings: How much in savings you will be putting into the bank this week. This is easy as you just move it from your savings column in the bill section.

Now, to the fun section :p THE BILLS!

Bill highlightedLike the last part, it’s self explanatory. What you do though, is instead of “Bill 1” you would write in the name of your bill. Such as, Mortgage/Rent. And then the same for Bill 2, 3, 4, etc, etc. I suggest, highly suggest, listing each bill in order of importance. Shelter, Water, Utilities, etc. In the bill section, write everything you spend money on. Not just paper bills, include your groceries (everything you buy at a store- not just food, like toilet paper, cleaning supplies, shampoo, etc.), gas, fast food, makeup, anything and everything. This helps you see all of your expenses and you keep everything on track.

Now, the last column. an important column, something I don’t find optional but as a need.

savings highlighted

A lot of people only put back savings if they can. Having a savings, big or small, is important incase you get into a jam later on. You don’t have to put back a big amount, do what you can. Even if it’s only $5. Take it from your grocery budget. Get 1 bag of dorito’s instead of 2, skip mcdonald’s for everyone and just get a $5 pizza, whatever you have to to make some room for savings, do it. And always put what you can. Don’t settle for the least amount and blow the rest. If you can put in $20, do it. You will thank yourself later. What I do to calculate savings, I add up all my bills, take it from my base pay, subtract $15 (I like to have a little cushion in the account during the week), and then put what’s left straight into savings. If my husband works overtime, straight into savings. I make sure we can live off his base pay and anything extra is for later. This is important to ease financial stress that may pop up later.

And this is your basic budget plan! It’s simple, no frills. It’s straight forward and easy to create. You can write it down on paper, you can type it out on paper, you can set up a table on your phone. You can customize it by adding more columns and rows, extra weeks or fewer weeks, customize it to fit your life. Just be sure to be honest and realistic.

Just for an example, I filled out this basic week for you to see!

budget exampleSee, super simple!

Happy budgeting! Do you keep a budget? If so, does it help you?

Hoping to hear from you! 🙂

Chicken Tips, Part 1.

Chicken Tips FI

Chicken, we eat it at least twice a week, often 3 times, sometimes even 4. So I have had my fair share with chicken and everything that entails it. I’m sure, if you are a meat eater, you consume chicken often. Maybe even more than we do. It’s cheap (compared to most meats anyways) and it’s incredibly versatile- you see it in everything from soups to rice dishes to crammed in between tortillas. You can really sculpt chicken into something amazing. Since chicken is so popular, I thought I would share a few tricks I have learned about it on my chicken ventures.

  1. Shredding Chicken: On my instagram last week, I shared a clever shredding tip that comes in handy with chicken but there are so many recipes involving shredded chicken- soups, casseroles, quesadillas, shredded chicken is everywhere. Now, when I first began cooking, I would sit down and take two forks and spend 10 minutes or more shredding the meat and coming up with uneven shreds. It took too long for something I wasn’t even that pleased with. Then I remembered hearing some where forever ago that taking a hand mixer to meat shreds it much easier. So I gave it a try and haven’t went back.IMG_1547
  2. Taking the stink out of boiled chicken: I don’t know about you, but nothing (well maybe some things but this is a biggie) churns my stomach more than the smell of boiled chicken. I don’t know what about it makes me want to run and hide 10 miles away from my house but it does. It is one of the worst smelling things I ever do did in my kitchen. For shredding, like we talked about above, the easiest method is to boil the chicken and then shred. Since my household loves Mexican food (tons of shredded chicken) I was having to do this often but found myself shying away from things that required boiling chicken. When I was tired of just avoiding some really yummy foods, I went to the drawing board. In order to avoid that icky smell, add some chicken broth cubes to your water. This zaps the smell away and actually adds flavor. I now always keep the cubes on hand. If you are making something that you can add even more flavor into the water, go for it! Just make sure it won’t throw off your recipe too much. Last night I made chicken fried rice and added in teriyaki sauce and some garlic, mmm.
  3. Quicker boiling chicken: When my husband went to second shift, so did I. I began making meals before he went to work because I loved our family dinners. This ended up cutting into our time more than I had liked so I went searching for ways to cut down on cook time. I began prepping everything I could the night before. When it came to boiling chicken, I realized I could even do this over night. All you have to do is pop in your chicken in the slow cooker, cover with water, throw in some broth cubes, and your chicken is ready to shred when you wake up. Cooking times differ with each crock pot so adjust to your crock pot. Mine can cook on low for about 4 hours and be there, it then switches to warm.
  4. Getting more bang for your buck chicken: Last year, my husband and I began buying organic chicken. Organic Chicken is a little pricey and was making our already way too high grocery budget even higher. It’s more expensive ($9-$11 for 3 breasts) but we didn’t want to go back to the other breasts, we didn’t want to cut back on chicken meals, so we were up in the air. And then my husband came up with this idea after examining them one day that they should be cut in half width wise and it would double our chicken.He was more interested in a better portion size (a honking 8 ounce chicken breast can sometimes be too much) and I had been pounding and tenderizing the chicken as it was to make it not so thick in the middle (it can easily become dry and flavorless when it’s too thick and have you seen how thick the chicken breasts are lately), so this wasn’t causing us to cut back on chicken. So now we get 6 breasts for $11 instead of 3. Which is two meals! This has helped our grocery budget and the flavor of our meals because the chicken ends up being the perfect thickness. I highly suggest doing this!
  5. A better breading: Something I never did when I first began cooking was dip it in flour first and then the egg mixture and then the flour again. I also didn’t think to season the flour. Double coating your chicken helps the breading so much and making sure to season your flour (with salt and pepper for basic recipes or you can get fancy and season with garlic powder, paprika, onion powder, the works) will never disappoint when it comes to a flavorful breading.

I labeled this part one because I know I will be back with even more chicken tips one day as much as I cook with it. I wanted to start off with some 5 basic tips at first.

And as always, when cooking poultry, remember to heat it to at least 165 degrees and wash everything it came into contact with. These aren’t so much tips as they are important steps for every chicken adventure.

What rookie mistakes did you make when you first started cooking? I would love to hear about them! 🙂

The 4 C’s of Marriage

Marriage is probably one, if not THE biggest commitment you will make in your lifetime. You are vowing to stay with a person through out an entire lifetime, for better or for worse, for richer or poor, and in sickness and in health. A lifetime is a long time. You change, your spouse will change, life itself will throw you curve balls that you never would have imagined going through. The beautiful thing about marriage is that during all of those fun transitions, you will never have to go through them alone. As a spouse, there are so many things that will come your way. Many, many wonderful things, some bad, some unexpected. Whatever comes your way, it’s important to take care of your marriage. Divorce rate’s are way too high in this day and age. Some people get scared of Marriage because of it. They think that with such a high number, how could they possibly dodge that bullet? What are the odd’s that their marriage wouldn’t be a part of the growing number? Some people are so scared and fixated on numbers and other marriages who have failed to realize that they are in control of their own marriage and the fate of it. There is nothing external that can end your marriage without you letting it in. There is no certainty that your marriage will fail. Marriage is the most beautiful thing one can join but it does take work, just like all great things. While all Marriages are unique, and no Marriage is perfect, there are basic guidelines that most every marriage needs in order to reach it’s full potential. Which brings us to the 4 C’s of Marriage. These are 4 things that all Marriages need, no matter how unique or how long or short the Marriage has been. Take a look and take them to heart while reading.

 

  1. Communication: When I talk with my friends and others about Marriage, I always stress the importance of Communication. I believe it is the most important thing you need in a Marriage. Without Communication your whole Marriage is shut off. Imagine if your husband never said a word to you, imagine if you always had to just guess if your husband had things he needed fixed in the marriage, would you be able to read his mind? Imagine a world where you couldn’t tell your husband when you were worried or sad or upset. You just bottled in everything you felt and dealt with it alone instead of having your partner to help you through it like he vowed to do. Did you fall in love with your husband without speaking a word to him nor him to you? No. Communication is what brought you together as a couple, Communication will be what keeps you together too. Divorces continue to grow because so many people keep their marriage concerns to themselves. They expect a problem to fix itself or for their spouse to read their mind and then fix the problem they are having. They expect the impossible to be done. You may think, well he should know it’s a problem! As true as that can be sometimes, we need to remember men have different minds than us. They have different emotions. Something huge to us may never even cross his mind. Women are emotional creatures. Men…not always. This is when we need to sit our husband’s down and calmly explain the problem, how it makes us feel, and why it makes us feel that way. A problem cannot and will not be fixed until you communicate the problem to your spouse. Not only does Communication allow us to discuss our issues and fix them but Communication also brings us closer to our spouse. The more you share, the closer you are. That’s just how it is. You don’t marry to have someone go and work for you to provide for you, you don’t marry someone just to have someone, your husband doesn’t marry you because he wants someone to take care of him or children, he didn’t marry you because you can cook well. While those are perks and can be important to some, Marriage is about the mental, emotional, and psychical connection between two people. Communication keeps all of those connections alive and kicking. Marriage isn’t about the convenience or what the other person can help you gain. Marriage is about love. Nothing more, Nothing Less. Communication is important is all aspects of your marriage. If you have one thing in your marriage, let it be Communication. It truly is the difference between Love and Divorce. 
  2. Compromise: Don’t roll your eyes. Compromise is very important in marriage, because you have to do lots of it. Think about it, you and your husband both lived separate lives before you knew each other. He had his family, you had yours. You had your job, he had his. Even though it’s hard to imagine that life, it still happened. When you got together, all of those things you did separately are now being worked around the life of your new unit. You inherit his family members, his friends, his hobbies, his habits, and his schedule, all while he inherited yours. Working all that in into one conjoined life, things can get tricky. For example, he just HAS to spend Thanksgiving with both of his divorced parents and he could not even fathom not seeing them both that day. You cannot fathom not seeing both of your parents either, you always go to grandma’s at 2pm on Thanksgiving day….but he always goes to his grandma’s at 1pm on Thanksgiving day. It also just so happens your mother’s both have their Thanksgiving at, you guessed it, the same time. So you see the problem here. You can’t just spend the Holiday’s a part from one another. You are your own little family now too. But you both want to be at different places, at the same time. This is when Compromise comes into play. You can’t just give him his way, or else you’ll be hurt, but it goes the other way around too. You want to both walk away from the table happy. This will take compromise. You will have to change somethings and so will he. You have to realize you aren’t a kid anymore, you aren’t single anymore, it’s not just about you. So you can’t pout when you don’t get exactly what you want. So you go into discussion and work out a fair compromise. You’ll be at his grandma’s house at 2pm that day and he will be at your mom’s house that night. The next year, you’ll swap. Marriage will be full of compromises like this. You have to be able to bend, sacrifice, and change for the good of your marriage.
  3. Comfort: Earlier I talked about all of the highs and lows of life. Since you are attached to your husband for a lifetime, chances are you will encounter many of those experiences together. When it comes to the lows, it doesn’t always just involve the woman needing comfort. Your husband will also need it. Ladies, Men may not be as emotional as us but they do have emotions. Nothing is as soothing after a bad day than knowing when you get home, you will have someone to love on you, listen to you vent about it, knowing someone will have your back and try their hardest to make you smile when you are frowning. What kind of marriage is a marriage where the two people involved could care less if the other person was happy? When my husband has a bad day, I feel bad myself. Because I can’t stand seeing him anything less than happy. You should always be there to pick up your spouse when they are down. If you can’t count on your spouse to help you out, who can you? You are a team. You give, you take. Your spouse is your home. With your spouse is where you should relax. With your spouse is where you should feel safe and completely yourself.
  4. Cuddles: This one seems like such a no-brainer but you would be surprised the amount of couples whose only intimacy is when they are trying to have a child. Intimacy isn’t just about sex. Intimacy is about being connected in all ways with your spouse. Feeling loved in all manners. Cuddling makes us feel safe, loved, comforted, and close to our spouse in ways that we aren’t with others. Make time for intimacy, even if it’s just a quick cuddle session at the end of the day. Life is busy, people are tired, but it’s something you need to make room for. Being intimate is a key part in feeling close with your spouse. A closeness you don’t share with anyone else. Just the two of you. Not only is cuddling good for intimacy, Cuddling is good for other reasons. It is known and scientifically proven to help curb depression and anxiety, help you sleep at a better hour, boost “feel good” hormones that help you fight of sickness, and couples who cuddle after sex are known to be happier with their relationships over all. Read more about it here: 6 Amazing Benefits of Cuddling

So go cuddle up with your husband and take these tips to heart. It is never to late to improve your Marriage, even the most perfect feeling ones.

What are some of the most important things to your marriage? Comment below! I would love to hear your opinions.

Tackling 2nd Shift and Marriage.

IMG_9867

When my husband got his new job, boy were we thrilled. God had blessed our life SO much by giving him the job. My husband’s pay more than doubled, he now would have insurance, and it meant we could finally start planning the next stages of our life. Well, a week or so later when we found out my husband would be working 2nd shift, my heart sank. I loved our life of dinners together every night, staying up late on Friday’s, and seeing my husband from 3:30 until bedtime. We had grown accustomed to first shift living and the change had me devastated. My friend who had been doing it for years and my husband both assured me that it wasn’t the end of the world and that we would adjust. I felt bitter towards the shift change but knew this job was what was best for our family. I began to focus on the positives and get creative with our new schedule. My husband got to train 8 weeks on First Shift and we cherished it, but by the time Second Shift came around, I was ready to make the best of it and had some plans set up for our new life. When we first got the news, I searched for articles about 2nd shift living and shockingly didn’t find much help. Thankfully I was creative and I had my friend to go to for advice. So for the other women out there who are in a similar boat, here’s some tips to get you through it. I am lucky enough to be able to stay home and work on my writing, so your lifestyle may be a bit different, but I know you can benefit from these ideas no matter what kind of lifestyle you have set up. It’s all about making it work and doing what you have to do. These things work well for me and my husband:

Try and get on similar Sleep Schedules: I know for some with Kids in school, this one can be tough. But when you can do this, I highly suggest it. I get up with my husband everyday and we still go to bed together shortly after he gets home. Some people like to stay up all night and then sleep until it’s time for their husband to leave. Which ever way works best for you guys, follow that plan. My husband is tired when he comes home from work, so we like to head that way when he gets home, and then we set an alarm to get up a few hours before he has to head to work. So we spend an hour or so together after he gets home, and then some time before he goes to work and then I do my normal routine after he has left.  At first it may be hard to make yourself wake up when you know you don’t have to rush off some where and the hours are there for you to keep sleeping, but it’s so important to make time for your marriage. So set that alarm and force yourself out of bed when it goes off. You’ll wake up shortly after and you’ll be happy about the time you get to spend together. Trust me, I hate the days that we over sleep and I barely get to see him. It gets easier as your body adjusts to waking up at a new time.

Make Dinner for Lunch: I have always found great pleasure in cooking a nice dinner for my husband every night. When second shift came around, I thought our dinner days were over since he wouldn’t be home during dinner time. Wrong! I could still cook and I could still have dinner with him. Our dinner would just be at noon instead of 6 o’clock. I do try and stick to simple but delicious homecooked meals during the week that are quicker to cook because you don’t want to spend all of your with your hubby in the kitchen. I have really been liking slow cooker meals and any time I can prep ahead, I do. Then on the weekends I make my more elaborate dinners that take more time.

Make the most of your time: Do as many household chores and errands that you can when your husband isn’t home. It’s important to make the most of your time together. By getting everything done when he is at work, you can spend the time he is at home, cuddled up to him, not worrying about having to spend a couple of hours at the Grocery Store. Make every second with your husband count. Make the most of it. Don’t dwell on work or how much 2nd shift sucks, make your time together as pleasant as you can. Enjoy it. That way when he has to return to work on Monday or later in the day, you can say that you enjoyed time with your husband that day. When he’s home and you have the time to spend with him, enjoy it being together. Keep things that keep you apart (like errands and girl time) for the time he is going to be apart from you anyways.

Midnight Date Night: My husband and I used to go out every Friday night and then spent the weekend in, being lazy. When my husband went to 2nd shift, our date nights seemed to be over with. By the time he got off, surely everything had to be closed. So we had to schedule our dates for the weekend days. Which meant if something else was going on, we would just have to forfeit our special 1 on 1 time together. Wrong again. Believe it or not, there are some restaurants in almost every city in the world that stay open late. In our town we have Applebees and a local eatery. So on some Friday’s we meet up when he gets off work and have ourselves a little midnight date night to kick off the weekend. I still get dressed up and he takes nice clothes to change into after work. You don’t just have to go out either, you can always cook a nice romantic meal or sit out some chocolate covered strawberries with some wine and have it right at home.

Communicate, Communicate, Communicate: Anytime I give marriage advice, Communication is always something I advise. No matter the situation. So of course it wouldn’t be any different here. Communication is key and one- if not the most- important things in a marriage. Always communicate with your husband. Talk to him about his day, about yours, any feelings you may have and vice versa. Me and my husband talk about everything. Serious things, normal things, silly things. I think it is one reason why our marriage is so strong. I praise communication. It can and will get you through anything. The more you talk, the more you connect, the more you learn. When my husband has a break, we talk all the way through it. If I think of something I want to tell him, like something funny on TV or something that may have happened, I just text it to him. Even if he can’t reply back right away, it let’s him know I think about him, and I still get to share moments of my afternoon with him.

I hope these 5 tips helped you in some way. I know they certainly turned a less than perfect situation into a decent one for us. Of course I would much rather him be on first shift, but I have learned to make 2nd shift work and found ways to enjoy it. Marriage is about adjusting when different things in life come up. No matter what happens in life, our spouses will always be there, no matter what. So hang in there, I know it sucks now but you will adjust and you will get through it. And remember, 2nd shift doesn’t have to last forever 😉

How do you and your spouse handle changes? Do you have any more advice for 2nd shift wives? Share in the comments below. I would love to hear from you!

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