You may have heard of it, something similar to it, you my not have, you may be practicing it or you may not. This post is for those of you who don’t know about it and may want to bring it in to your marriage, or a refresher for those who have heard of it. It is certainly a rule we have in our marriage, even before we knew about it.
The rule is simple, If one spouse is okay with something but the other is not, then it’s a NO go.
…when it concerns both of you and I imagine most everything will. Of course smaller things don’t fall into this category: such as where to eat for dinner. Comprises come into play with those sort of things. But when it comes to major choices, this is a great rule of thumb. One I am mostly reading about people experiencing is during baby names. If one person hates the baby name, then the name is no longer on the table.
It’s important to be on the same page when it comes to large decisions. It important for each person to be comfortable with what is happening in their life. It also eliminates one spouse always getting their way with things. It’s vital for each spouse to feel in control of their life and feel that they are equally important in life decisions. Without this comfort, this equality one spouse may feel “lesser” with can lead to resentment later on down the road. Especially when they look back on certain parts of their life and see all their choices were made for them. They may begin to keep their opinions, their feelings, and their problems to themselves which snow ball into bigger issues- because they feel that they don’t have a voice. Small things often turn into big things if they are pent up.
I can preach all day on how communication is VITAL in every marriage. With squished communication- the relationship can suffer.
If you struggle with this role, do the good ol’ fashion trick of putting yourself in their shoes. It really does work wonders. Pick something that would make you uneasy in your marriage, in your life, in your parenting role, and imagine it being pushed on to you.
Compromises are great, but sometimes things are too important to just come down to a compromise. Most importantly, do whatever works for your marriage and helps it the most. Your marriage is your love story, your spouse is your life long partner. if yo utake anyone seriously, it should always be your spouse.