Ever since I found out I was pregnant and began to experience the fun that is nausea, food aversions, and a crazy strong sense of smell, I have been very appreciative of my husband. As a stay at home wife, I cook, clean, and do those kinds of things. But since food makes me want to run for the hills (I know, a very sad thing for me), the kitchen has pretty much become a torture chamber for me, so I rarely visit it. And when I do have to, it is not pretty as the smells of the food attack me and turn my stomach. So my husband has picked up my daily tasks also, when it comes to the kitchen anyways. He cooks his own food- well pops it in the oven. They preach eating healthy and cooking all of these grain and protein filled foods but never ever do they mention how difficult it is in your first trimester. I am being real enough to admit to you that frozen and ready to eat foods have taken over my home the last few weeks. The doctor says eat what you can hold down, for me that’s mini chocolate donuts and popsicles. Thank goodness for prenatal vitamins.
As I wait for this mean first trimester to pass me, I am learning the ropes of leaning on my husband when I am weak. We have usually had our own roles in our marriage. He earns money, I take care of our home. Now he is earning money, grabbing me water, toasting poptarts at midnight for me, and baking his own food before work- as well as packing his lunch. At first, I felt bad. I felt bad that I had to abandon what I felt is my assigned tasks. But my husband comforted me over it, and still does. Letting me know that he is happy to do it, and that I’m growing his child inside of me- which is a big job in itself. It is true, that in our marriage vows we talk about in sickness and in health, the highs and lows, richer or poorer. And what I have thought about in my many days in bed is that I am very thankful that I have a husband who upholds his vows with a smile on his face, but that I shouldn’t chalk this all up to him keeping his vows. He is doing these things for me out of love, and if he were to just go get me a glass of water on any other day without the sickness and growing a life form inside of me, would I be as grateful as I am when I am sickened by the very thought of doing such a simple task on my own? I would say thank you and mean it, but I wouldn’t look into it so much to see just how the little things in life do speak volumes.
I think as a married couple it’s so easy to take things for granted, to just expect certain things. I think when you sit and think about the reasons for actions, what’s behind them, a small gesture will bring much more appreciation to our significant others than before. We may do this already at times, but it’s easy to get caught up in life and associate nice gestures with expectations. I am showering my husband with thank you’s as he helps me with everything. A husband should contribute to his home and help, so I’m not just thanking him for feeding himself or loving me, but I am thanking him for contributing and letting him know it’s appreciated and not just expected of him. My husband has always helped me, even before baby, and I know he will continue to without complaint and will out of love. I just want to turn things that may be expected as the duty of a spouse, into things to appreciate and love also, not just take it as part of the package. And this goes from husband to wife as well. We should all learn not to JUST expect anything but to love and appreciate everything as well.