Social Media: Wife Etiquette Part 1

A few weeks ago I went on a Social Media Fast. When it comes to fasting, you are supposed to fast something that isn’t easy for you to give up. Automatically I knew what I would be choosing, Social Media.

Most of us have some sort of Social Media Account, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, the list goes on and on. It’s almost as if Social Media makes the world go ’round. Think about how much time you spend between all of your social media accounts. You probably under estimate how much time you really do spend on it through out the day. If you piled up all the minutes you spend looking through your feeds, it would add up to be more than an hour for the average person, I would guess it would be around the 2 hour mark. Now, this isn’t for every person that owns a social media account. Some only check it once a day, maybe even once a week, or even less. But on average the amount spent on your social media is quite a bit and you probably don’t even realize how addicted you may be to it. Try Fasting it like I did and you’d be surprised how many times you catch yourself going to open the app, without even thinking about it. This was such a habit for me, I deleted my apps until my fast was over.

My post today isn’t a lecture about getting rid of your social media accounts. Let’s be honest, we aren’t just going to go out and delete everything. If you use Social Media maturely it is actually a good thing. I have far away family that I literally hardly ever see and it’s nice to be able to keep up with them as well as seeing pictures of my friends kids I don’t see often and personally, I like to share my own accomplishment’s too (if you checked out my personal feeds, you would mostly see pictures of my food adventures). At this point in life it’s the norm to have a Facebook and other outlets and there is no reason in shaming ourselves for participating. My main idea for this post is using Social Media maturely as a wife. In the world where Social Media is a common practice and it’s only a click away, it is often used in negative ways. A lot of these negative ways can reflect on your marriage and the kind of spouse you aim to be. So let’s take a look at some basic Wife Etiquette rules of Social Media.

Social Media CAN be a good thing. When it was created, it was meant in all good intentions. It was a way to keep in touch with those you love and have them keep up with you. So let’s start with “The Do’s” of Social Media.

The Do’s:

Write on your hubby’s wall: When you write on someone’s wall, it’s public for everyone to see. We as women know how good it feels when our husband’s show us a little affection in front of the guys or our gal pals. Do the same for him. Write a little “I love you so much! Thank you for being so good to me 🙂 ” or something a long those lines, and give him some public praise!

Brag a Little: This kind of bounces back to the public praise idea. If he sent you some flowers on a bad day, don’t feel bad to snap a photo and share it. Social Media is about sharing after all. Tag him and say a sweet line about how thankful you are for them, or create a small status saying that you are thankful for a hard working husband. Something a long the lines of that. It’s public praise that all of your family and friends can see and it will make him feel even more appreciated. But notice I said a little. You can declare your love everyday on Facebook if you feel the need to but remember your friends, families, and followers are there to hear more than just about your love, so make sure to have a good balance.

Post Photos of you together: Your followers want to keep up with what you’re doing in life, take a snapshot when the two of you just had an amazing adventure. Not only will you have the memory in a photo and not only are your friends and family enjoying keeping up with the two of you (parents loveeee photos) but your hubby can feel that you are extra proud of the two of you.

Accept requests from his friends and family: Letting his friends and family into your Social Media lets him know that you care about how they are doing, and not just about your own group. When you marry, you inherit his friends and family too. Be sure and stay active with them when you can, it really shows him that you care about them being involved in your life together. You don’t have to like his ex-roomate’s status about enjoying a cold one, but it doesn’t hurt to throw a like or a comment or two on some fun or meaningful things.

There’s part 1 of The Do’s. Take all these tips as added bonus ways to show your love and appreciation for your spouse, don’t make Social Media the only way you show him these things. Always say thank you in person and make sure you vocalize your appreciation for them often.

Now, on to the negative thing’s that we as Wives (and just people in general) will want to avoid. Here are..

The Don’ts:

Talk about him in a negative way: Never put your significant other down in anyway on Social Media. There are no exceptions to this. Don’t talk bad about them, don’t make vague statues about how mad you are because SOMEONE forgot to take the dog out, and don’t share photo’s that point to you being angry or upset with your spouse. You would hate it if he did it, so don’t do it. You should respect your spouse and pointing out their flaws is not the way to do it. It also does not reflect well on yourself. If you are throwing your spouse under the bus in public, it only comes off as if you are a disrespectful spouse and then everyone who just read your public display of anger, will learn to disrespect you. Just don’t do it.

Don’t vent your marriage woe’s to the world: It can be so easy to open up your account and go on a venting session about your feelings. It can give you an automatic response to your feelings and some people feel supported when their aunt they hadn’t seen in 10 years rallies with them to support their frustration with their marriage. This is a giant no-no though. Not only does it embarrass your spouse but later on when the two of you have made up, your family and friends won’t be there to witness the makeup session and will often grow to dislike your spouse or lose respect for them. The main reason this is a mistake is because marriage is between 2 people. Not the 2 people and their family and friends. Your family and friends did not make vows to you, your husband did. Only the two of you can solve your problems, so outsider views on the issue doesn’t matter at the end of the day. Instead of venting your anger and causing all kinds of negative response, talk to your spouse, work it out, be happy. Once something is online and someone else sees it, that is something you cannot take back.

Don’t post anything truly embarrassing: I don’t mean cute baby photos (unless he is really serious about that), I mean something super embarrassing that you wouldn’t want shared. Marriage gives you the comfort to be yourself and gives you someone else to trust with everything. Even embarrassing moments. We are there to lift up our spouses, not bring them down.

Don’t spend excessive amounts of time online: Between jobs, errands, and family functions, time with your spouse is precious. Life is so busy that it can be easy to come home from work and unwind while scrolling through your feeds and there is nothing wrong with that, if you are spending a ton more time one on one with your spouse with no distractions. Make sure to put it away at dinner, during conversations, and activities. You live with your spouse so of course you will be looking while in their company, but make sure it is a small amount of time compared to the time you are spending with them without the phone.

Don’t share everything: Some of my most treasured moments are times that no one else knows about except me and my husband. I keep a journal of them to look back on from time to time (I highly suggest it). Anytime he does something nice, you don’t always have to share it. Social Media has taken away the idea of having private moments because so many of us share everything that happens to us. Try not sharing everything, sometimes it becomes even sweeter.

Wives, take these do’s and dont’s into some serious consideration. Especially the don’ts. Marriage is precious and sacred and something we need to take care of. In a world where Social Media dominates, don’t let it dominate your marriage.

Respect your Husband. Respect yourself. Respect your Marriage. 

What advice do you have for wives on social media? Be sure and comment and join in on the conversation, and be sure and share this with other wives. It’s something we can all benefit from!

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9 thoughts on “Social Media: Wife Etiquette Part 1

  1. totiltwithwindmills says:

    While I am not married, and don’t see it in my close future sadly, I do have to say that I don’t agree with necessarily everything here. One thing a lot of people will say is that if all they see about certain aspects of a person’s life via FB status updates that they’re less inclined to believe them. They also can and do make people feel increased jealousy given that their life may not be as upbeat as the life being portrayed by the person updating their status.

    From a marriage standpoint, I find it detrimental to anyone considering marriage to not post anything remotely negative. You shouldn’t very well bash your SO — no matter if they’re just a boyfriend/girlfriend or a husband/wife — though only posting the positive and acting like everything is sunshine-and-rainbows is misleading much in the same manner as parents who only post positive things about being a parent. Doing so leads to people not being told that marriage(or relationships in general) are always upbeat and easy instead of letting them know that it won’t always be full of positive, happy moments and that it is a lot of work at times. That’s just something to keep in mind when it comes to considering your to-do and don’t list as far as advice on marriage.

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    • wifeslifeblog says:

      You have some good points! I don’t believe in posting the negatives only because I believe some things in marriage are private, like your specific problems. I hope most people know that marriage isn’t always sunshine and rainbows, because sticking with each other through thick and thin is something incorporated in your vows, I like to think its general knowledge. Thank you for your input. I will keep them in mind when writing Part 2. I’m just an advocate for privacy in my own marriage and believe it’s an important thing to have in marriage. I know I wouldn’t want my husband letting others know about the issues I may ever bring to our marriage. I also don’t believe that being fake and pretending to be someone your not or even pretending to have the perfect marriage isn’t in anyone’s best interest and hope not many people tend to do that. I also like to believe (hope) my friends are happy for my accomplishments just as I am their’s when I post it on Facebook, just like I am for them, instead of being jealous. I never thought of people feeling jealously over positive emotions shared because they don’t feel as great as the person sharing the status is. I hope the person that feels that way can find inner peace and be happy for others and work on finding happiness for themselves. I can’t see myself personally censoring myself due to being afraid someone may feel jealous of my happy marriage, because I enjoy sharing my happy moments with the family and friends, and I feel that they are happy for me. But it is a view point I had never thought of before. Thanks so much for your contribution 🙂 I love hearing new and different view points and talking about the different things in life.

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      • totiltwithwindmills says:

        Oh, most definitely don’t censor yourself. I am fully against censoring. I can also understand wanting privacy with relationship things. I just meant that sometimes a vague message isn’t the end of the world, or the marriage, cause it’s a valid emotion to share just as anything else. Many people bottle emotions that aren’t positive then that leads to worse issues. But that aside, I just wanted to present another viewpoint for you to consider. I wasn’t aware of these things myself in terms of how people can react/respond to status updates until I read some (valid) studies that discussed these things. As for the only positive being viewed as false that same view is held when people consider buying books interestingly enough. If they only see positive and high-star reviews then they assume that the people giving them are friends of the author or are being paid by the author which is why people tend to like more balanced reviews where there’s negative ones tossed in there. Interesting, isn’t it?

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      • wifeslifeblog says:

        It is interesting! and when you think about it, it does make sense in some situations.Such as if your friend was selling a skin care product. They swear it was the best out there and worth the money. Sometimes a small voice may say “of course you believe it is worth the money, you are selling the product for profit.” Same as books, just as you said. I read reviews for so many things before spending money on them. Thank you so much for contributing! 🙂

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