How to help a Stressed Out Husband


Stress Sucks. You’ve had it, I’ve had it, and guess what, our husbands will have it. Nothing is as disheartening as seeing your normally happy husband be unhappy, edgy, grumpy, and stressed out. It’s so easy to get frustrated when we tell them it’s going to be ok but they continue to be stressed out. Sometimes you may get tired of telling him that it’s going to be fine, because you feel that he is just ignoring you or simply doesn’t believe you. Instead of just ignoring his complaints or his moods, here’s some tips on how to tackle a stressful husband and get him back to the happy man you married.

Doing things (or all) from each of these categories will help your husband feel more at ease and stress free before you know it. You’ll have the smiles back in no time.

Let’s take a look at our first category:

Psychical: here are some things you can psychically do to help turn your husbands frown, upside down.

  • Long Hugs: Something about a truly intimate, loving hug, puts our husbands at ease.They feel safe in our arms which can help chase the stress away.
  • Little Treats: If you’re out at the store, pick him up his favorite candy bar, or a copy of his favorite movie. Something small that you know he will personally enjoy. There’s nothing more exciting than getting a small, unexpected, gift. This is sure to put a smile on his face. We love it when they do it for us, so let’s do it for them.
  • Massages: Stress literally takes a tole on your body. Around my wedding I was so stressed out I developed “stress knots” in my body. I went and got a massage (courtesy of my loving husband) and wah-lah, I had never felt more at ease. Those knots were painful and they aren’t the only thing stress can do to harm your health. So treat your hubby to a massage or better yet, go buy some oils and look up some massage techniques on Pinterest. Dim the lights and get to de-stressing!
  • Public Praise: In the era of social media, take to Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram and give him a shout out. Letting him know just how much you appreciate and love him. This will give him a sense of confidence and let him know that you are proud of him, even though he hasn’t been feeling the best about himself.
  • Give him something to look forward to: You can let him know that morning that you are making his favorite food later, or set up an exciting event you know he will be thrilled about. This gives him something exciting to look forward to and keep his mind on rather than focusing on something stressful. 
  • Be silly: From corny jokes to tickling him. Be silly with him. Laughing is a natural de-stresser that is sure to take his mind from stress to happiness!

Mental/Emotional: these are things that you can do to help him let go of his stress involving the mind and emotions.

  • Pray for him: pray for God to ease his stress. Sometimes God can make changes that we can’t. You should also encourage your husband to pray about his situation.
  • Stay Strong: part of your vows as husband and wife was to be strong when the other is weak. I know he has for you before, now you can for him. As dis-heartening as it is to have a stressed out husband, you joining in on the stress will only make him stress about that. Don’t add to the mix.
  • Point out his good qualities: remind him about the things that make him so great. When you’re stressed you can feel pretty crummy, lift up his confidence. Confidence can make a big difference in any situation. 
  • Point out his Past Accomplishments: if he is stressed about something that has failed or that he’s scared will fail, remind him of the great things he has done in the past. This can help him feel optimistic about the situation. If you’ve done it before, you can do it again.
  • Be on his Team: it can be so easy to explain the other side of the situation. Rather it be why his boss did something or why something happened. This can sometimes rub off the wrong way even if you are just trying to shed some light. So make sure he knows you are on his team, agree with him. Let him know you think it sucks too. Then bring in your thoughts on why something may have happened. Make sure to start the statement off with “Maybe..” so it doesn;t sound so factual, then follow it up with your thoughts. Do this after he knows that you’re on his side and let him know you’re trying to find an unharmful explanation. 
  • Be considerate: sit and think about what you would want to hear if you were in this situation and what would make you feel better. Try these out on your husband. It’s so easy to assume we know what’s best for them and what’s going to work, when it really may be something different. Give them what you think you may need, be it space or a long talk.
  • Let him Vent: encourage him to talk through the situation with you. Talking through and releasing your issues out loud can truly make a difference. Holding in your emotions is not good at all and only progresses your stress.

It can be easy to lose patience when your husband isn’t happy and it can be so easy to become discouraged when he doesn’t just perk up when we tell him it’s going to be ok. Fight those impatient feelings and don’t let yourself get frustrated. Remember that a marriage isn’t always 50/50. Sometimes we need our husbands to be strong, and sometimes, they need us to be strong. A lifetime is a long time and there will be so many things that will cause our husbands and ourselves to become stressed out. This is where we pick each other up, refer to this list, and make it our mission to make the stress chip away.

Where there are stressful moments, there are even happier moments to be had. Hang in there Dear Wife, Hubby will be happy again before you know it.

Be sure to keep this list on hand for the next time your husband gets a little stressed out or keep it to pass it on to a girlfriend that may be struggling with this issue. Subscribe to The Wife’s Life so you can always come back to this list when you need it and have access to all of the other wonderful wife advice coming your way.


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