Some of you are reading this because of general curiosity, some because you are rolling your eyes at the idea of a Stay at Home wife, some because you can relate, and some just because you are an awesome reader! :) Whatever the reason that brings you here, I just want to say thank you for reading this and I hope that this can shed some light on some things.
If I had just a penny for each time one of the following conversations have happened to me, we would be able to afford my husband to quit his job also.
- People ask me if I feel guilty.
- People ask me why I don’t work in a working age.
- People tell me it is so great for my children (I don’t have children yet.)
- People give off a very judgmental silence when I tell them my husband works and I take care of our home.
- People give their unwarranted opinion of the fact that I am a Stay at Home Wife.
- People go on and on about the negatives of what I am doing.
Now don’t get me wrong, not everyone comes with a big whopping negative and some questions are given to me because the person can relate to my position in life. I have had many working people tell me that I am lucky, I have had some people tell me the good work I do is much appreciated, and I have had some people go on about the benefits of being a Stay at Home wife in agreement (even the one’s that work). I so appreciate the people who can see the positives in what I do and what I have chosen to do with my life and for my family (present and future).
I think we can all agree that being a Stay at Home Wife comes with quite a stigma. We can be viewed as lazy, spoiled, or just not motivated enough for the working world, among other things. Many people think we just sleep in, take naps, have snacks, go run around town, and watch our favorite TV shows, all while our husband’s are working hard to keep us up like the spoiled little princesses we are (sarcasm). When it truly isn’t that way. With most stigma’s, it’s completely inaccurate. Which is why I feel the need to share my day to day activities. Not that I need to or have to. As far as I’m concerned the only people I have to justify myself to is God and my Husband. BUT I want to stand up for other’s like me who are in the same boat. No, this blog post won’t end the stigma, it won’t stop the questions, and it’s not going to make the people of the world who don’t understand us, understand us. But I have hopes that maybe it will shed some understanding or realization to someone, some where, who may just not get why we do what we do.
Back in the fall right before I got married, I had a pretty decent job that I was fairly happy with. It was one of the better jobs I had ever had in my 5 years of being in the working world (I had worked since the day I turned 16). Not my favorite but a pretty good one. Well it seemed that way, shortly after being hired on and leaving my previous job I was laid off. What a blow. My wedding was in 6 months and Christmas was a month away which meant everyone was stocked up on holiday employees and was about to enter the slow season and I didn’t have enough time to find a good job that would give me time off in just a few months for my wedding. So the original plan was that I would return to work. I had to. Our family needed 2 incomes. So we got through the winter and the wedding and soon after my husband landed an amazing job. So amazing that his income was more than our 2 incomes we had had combined. The only downfall was that he would work 2nd shift. Which meant if I were to go back to work, we would rarely see each other because I would more than likely have a 1st shift job. It didn’t take long for us to figure out that the best choice for us would be for me to stay home. We could see each other and his income was more than enough to hold us up. Why would I go back to the working world when I was more than happy taking care of my husband and our home (something I had always been really good at), we had enough money to cover all of our bases and then some- just so I could never see my husband? It would be different if I had a job I loved, or if working was what made me truly happy. But it wasn’t the case, seeing him made me happy and all of our needs and wants were being met with his pay alone. So that’s what began our journey 1.5 years ago.
Since then I have gotten this Stay at Home Wife thing down to a T despite the flack and judgement of others and my husband and I are very happy with our life and would not want it any other way. Each week I make myself a schedule to stick to, being without a plan has always made me a little anxious so this schedule really helps in that area. I plan to share this week’s schedule with you guys so you can see what us Stay at Home Wives REALLY do. I’ll start with Monday.
- 11am: I woke up, showered, got ready for my day, did the dishwasher, and made dinner (we eat dinner before my husband goes to work).
- 3pm: I drop my husband off at his work (we are currently in 1 car for the time being).
- 3-7pm: I go out and shop for my husband’s anniversary gifts, drop off a dress I am having fixed,make my husband a tattoo appointment, and go to the grocery.
- 7-7:30pm: Yoga and Leg workout.
- 7:30-8pm: I have a snack and talk to my husband on his lunch break.
- 8-10: I clean our living space.
- 10-11pm: I take a break and eat dinner.
- 11pm-midnight: I prep dinner for the following day, make my husband his lunch for the following day at work, general clean up, prepare my husband a snack for when he comes home.
- Midnight+: I leave to get my husband from work and then we spend a few hours of time together before heading to bed.
- 11am-3pm: Wake up, fix dinner, dishwasher, eat with my husband.
- 3-5: Cardio, Arm Work out, Back Work out, Yoga.
- 5-6pm: Shower, make a smoothie, talk to my husband, get laundry in.
- 6-7:30: Write my blog post.
- 7:30-8pm: Talk to my husband on his break, continue with more laundry.
- 8-10pm: Clean out basement.
- 10-11pm: Eat dinner, keep working on laundry.
- 11-Midnight: Prep dinner, my husband’s lunch, dishwasher, general clean up,prepare my husband a snack for when he comes home, and find time to read “How to cook Everything.”
- Midnight+: Hubby time.
- 11am-3pm: Wake up, cook dinner, do the dishwasher, enjoy time with my husband.
- 3-4pm: Cardio and yoga.
- 4-6pm: Have a snack, get ready for church, talk to hubby.
- 6-9pm: commute to church, church, stop by store for stock ups, commute home.
- 9-10:30pm: finish putting away laundry that had to air dry, do the dishwasher, general clean up.
- 10:30-Midnight: Eat dinner, prep for dinner the next day, make hubby’s lunch, general clean up, dishwasher, prepare my husband a snack for when he comes home.
- 11am-3pm: Wake up, do the dishwasher, make dinner, hubby time.
- 3-5pm: Cardio, arm work out, yoga.
- 5-6pm: Shower and have a snack.
- 6-7:30pm: I spend time time reading and learning about cooking skills, practice french, read about editing my novel in a few weeks.
- 7:30-8:30pm: Talk to hubby, look at our bills that need to be paid the following week and organize what money will go into savings.
- 8:30-10: Meal plan for the following week, look at our kitchen and do inventory, and create our grocery list.
- 10-11pm: Meal prep for the following day, hubby’s lunch, general clean up.
- 11pm-Midnight: Prepare my husband a snack for when he comes home, and if I have time leftover I will turn on the TV.
- Midnight+: Hubby time.
- 11am-3pm: Wake up, shower, get ready for the day, make dinner, hubby time.
- 3-6pm: Take hubby to work, I get my allergy shot and then volunteer at my church’s after school program.
- 6-10pm: Grocery Shopping, errands, more anniversary shopping, going to see my friend to learn how to make a tres leches cake for my husband since he loved the one she made at her daughter’s birthday party.
- 10pm-11pm: Unload groceries and organize pantry and cabinets, dishwasher, general clean up.
- 11pm+: Leave to go get my husband fast food (friday treat), go get my hubby at work.
Saturday & Sunday: this weekend we are celebrating our 1 year anniversary! :) On the weekend’s I make breakfast/brunch and dinner and do my usual cleaning.
*On Wednesday’s I have been taking him to work but my mom is on vacation this week and is taking us to church in her car.
*My husband usually works from 3-11:34pm but this week he is scheduled over time Monday-Thursday, so often I am still doing some things even after he is home.
My days stay busy but I would not have them any other way. Sometimes my tasks run over into my other task times. I just wanted to bring light to the world that Stay at Home Wive’s actually live in. Many of us don’t sit and watch TV everyday, every hour. We take our jobs seriously and do our very best to make the home lives for our hard working husbands the best they can be. Stay at Home Wive’s are women of devotion, love, and repetitive work. We realize we are blessed to be able to spend our time focusing on our families and we certainly don’t take it for granted. We are thankful and strive to do our job the best we can, just like everyone else.